Archive for the ‘Jokes’ Category

The Cleverest President

An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board but only 4 parachutes.

The first passenger said, “I’m Zinedine Zidane, the world’s number 1footballer. FIFA needs me, I can’t afford to die.” So he took the first pack and left the plane.
The second passenger, Hillary Clinton
, said, “I am the wife of the former President of the United States , I am the most ambitious woman in the world. I am also New York Senator and a potential future President.” She
just took the 2nd parachute and jumped out of the plane.
The third passenger, Robert Mugabe, said, “I’m President of Zimbabwe and I have 13 million helpless people who always look to me for guidance. Above all I’m the cleverest President in African history, and Africa ‘s
people won’t let me die”. So he put on a pack next to him and jumped out of the plane.
The fourth passenger, Nelson Mandela, says to the fifth passenger, a 10yr old Chinese school boy, “I’m old and have lived a fruitful life, God will decide my fate, so I’ll let you have the last parachute”.

The boy said, “It’s OK, there’s a parachute left for you. Africa ‘s cleverest President (Robert Mugabe) has taken my schoolbag”.

Gushungo Talks to van-Tsvangisen

Joke of the year contender…………..its a pity i cant translate it into english the humour will go away.

MT: “Mhoro Gushungo” RG: Mhoroi Save” MT: “Zvarema ka izvi?” RG: “Rume rimwe harikombi churu” MT: “Chara chimwe hachitswanyi inda” RG: “Waita basa wasaina” MT: “Ndanga ndichida kumbokupfidzisa” RG: “Usadaro mumwe wangu mangwana ndiwewo” MT: “Saka unoda package here?” RG: “Chero zvamareva, Save” MT: “ Ko Dynamos wakaiwona here?” RG: “Bhora futi mazuvano?” MT: “Eeh?” RG: “Kuona bhora rugare” MT: “Kuti zvasvika kupi? RG: “Vhunza mai Bona.” MT: “Zvichapera hazvo.” RG: “Ndinovimba kudaro” MT: “Ko Passport yangu?” RG: “Uchapuwa hako kana wotonga.” MT: “Nemhaka yei?” RG: “Ndaitya kuti unozonditiza wondisiira nyika iyi ndoga.” MT: “Iwe zvawakainda muMoza wakainda nepassport?” RG: “Hee hee! Unoti guma-guma Tangwena taimudii?” MT: “Eeh” Mbeki: “Gushungo, I told you he will sign.” RG: “Thanks Thabo. I owe you a farm.” MT: “Chinja Maitiro Gushungo.” RG: “Chakabaya chikatyokera.” MT: “Manje isu kuMDC, tinoti: mhunzwa unotumburwa nomumwe munzwa!” RG: “ Ngatiite braai ka paweekend.” MT: “Ndichaiziva here nyama?” Mbeki: “I will send some chakalaka wors!” Archbishop Ndlovu: “Ngatitsunzunyei tinamate” MT: “Handitsunzunyi kana Gushungo vari padhuze” Mbeki: “Wait bishop. I can draft another MOU for them to pray.” Archbishop: “Eeh. Zvakaoma sokunamata!”